Paint

[jumperfucker]

In my hair. That's what I have right now. But it's not friendly paint. No. This paint turns to cement when you try to wash it out.


ETA: He's saying it's not paint. It's enamel. Is there even a difference???

Comments

[consulting_detective]

Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have specified. And one generally only needs one question mark in a sentence.

[consulting_detective]

And stop worrying. It’ll come out eventually. Or you can cut your hair.

[jumperfucker]

I don’t have much hair to cut and I don’t want to wait for ‘eventually.’

[consulting_detective]

I have some brush cleaner that will get it out, but you won’t like what it will do to your hair. Or your scalp. The first two offers on order are your best bets.

[jumperfucker]

Fine.


You will regret this.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

... Are you going back to cueball status?

[jumperfucker]

It's either that, or a big pink handprint on my head for the foreseeable future.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Is that his signature

"Property of consulting_detective" for the whole word to see

[jumperfucker]

I wouldn't put it past him.

Really, really wouldn't.




I'd forgotten how much my head resembles an egg. I might have to try growing that moustache back, just to not look quite so stupid.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Grow a moustache and wear a bowler hat to work

Do it

[jumperfucker]

I'm going to need to find a bowler now.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Find one in the same shops you get your jumpers at, they're about as old

Yes, I went there

[jumperfucker]

Oi, don't diss the jumpers. You're just jealous that you can't rock this look.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Whatever you say, granddad

[jumperfucker]

Respect your elders.

And get off my lawn.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

You can't hit me with that cane of yours if you can't catch me, mate

[jumperfucker]

I can sure as hell throw it at you. Want to try your luck?

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Damn

[jumperfucker]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

[not-thatbill.livejournal.com]

Wait, what happened to the one we bought you that one time as a gag gift?

[jumperfucker]

I think it got left in Mallorca. That's the last time I remember seeing it.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

I swear if you wear a bowler hat I will do to it what I did to the sombrero. With extreme prejudice.

[jumperfucker]

I am going to get a new bowler now. Just because of this comment.

And if you light it on fire, I'm giving Fuzzy Tom to S to have his way with. Remember the paint? Sorry, enamel?

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't dare. Fuzzy Tom is a piece of HISTORY. He's not some artist's plaything!
Oh gosh... Have you shaved your head?

I would dare

[jumperfucker]

The choice was between that and S's big, pink handprint on my head.

I'm going to grow a moustache and buy a bowler, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh. John. You could have just used baby oil and cling-film.
Oh gosh, you could buy a beret and look like that guy off the Mythbusters.

Re: I would dare

[jumperfucker]

I'm going to murder that man.


I may be single by the time you stop by.

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Get him to paint new hair on.
He does lovely hair, I've seen it.

Re: I would dare

[jumperfucker]

He's not allowed anywhere near my head.

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Oh, and you have such a lovely head.
Maybe you could just get him to kiss it better? :p

Re: I would dare

[jumperfucker]

With him still covered in paint? That's how this happened in the first place! D:

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

The answer is baby oil. Always more baby oil.
I would have thought you'd have learnt that by now. ;)

Re: I would dare

[my-croft.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but baby oil sounds plain wrong.

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Don't knock baby-oil, it's actually pretty versatile.

Re: I would dare

[my-croft.livejournal.com]

I'm not knocking it. I'm just saying it's something the RPF writers could find good use for.

Re: I would dare

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh. I hadn't even thought of them.

Re: I would dare

[my-croft.livejournal.com]

I guess that's what happens only when you're a mod.

[narcomanic.livejournal.com]

... Why did he have pink enamel in his hands to begin with? Most importantly, what were those hands doing anywhere near your hair?

It makes me cry inside a little every time a man shaves his hair off, but I guess you can try and pass it off as a summer look?

[jumperfucker]

I have no idea. Because he wanted to put it in my hair?

[narcomanic.livejournal.com]

Probably, because I'm having trouble picturing a scenario where someone accidentally grabs someone's head with enamel-covered hands. Unless he, like, tripped and tried to regain his balance by grabbing you?

[neveryou-again.livejournal.com]

It probably wouldn't help to say yes, there is a difference, would it?

Eeep, how did you even manage to get it in your hair? Was it just lying out around the apartment or something?

[jumperfucker]

He had it on his hand, and then put his hand on my head.

I think he did it deliberately, but I can't prove it.

[neveryou-again.livejournal.com]

Oh, lordie.

*pats your shaved head comfortingly*

[alltoseek.livejournal.com]

Is it cons_detective who told you bald is sexy? Maybe that's why he did it :D

*totally lacking in icons of sexy bald men*

[ningen-demonai.livejournal.com]

... I'm sorry, that's pretty damn hilarious. XD