(no subject)

[jumperfucker]

OK there have been some questions, so I might as well answer them.

No, I did not 'break up' with Mary. To do so would imply that we were dating in the first place, which we weren't.

Yes, there was a bit of a row last night.

Yes, S was involved, but not in the way any of you are thinking.


As far as I know, Mary and S have never properly got on. Put them together in the same room enough times, and things were bound to finally explode. I'm disappointed that it came to this, but you can't make people like one another.

I'm not going to pick sides. I refuse. Nor will I be playing any sort of time-balancing games. If they don't want to see one another, that's fine. I'll spend time with whomever I want, whenever I want. And if someone has a problem with that, they can work through it like an adult. Or, as much as I don't want to say this, they can leave. I'm far too old for schoolyard bullshit.

Sorry to everyone else who wound up involved in this.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Hokay.

I know you've tried to avoid all the bs and wank involved, but after watching all this play out over the last month, I'm gonna be a bit of a bitch and hand you some assvice (advice you didn't ask for, from someone you don't care about).

S is jealous. Of course he is, and from what I've seen about how intimately your ex is involved in your lives, I don't blame him. (I've been with my husband for 15 years, and I'd be livid, frankly.)

To think he wouldn't be is naive. To petulantly state that you're not taking sides in this disagreement is short-sighted and uncaring. Either S is your boyfriend or he isn't. The person you claim to care about deserves MORE of your time, MORE of your consideration, MORE of your love. That does NOT mean you have to drop your friends, or avoid Mary, or not be friends with her, or allow S to dictate who you can see (good god no).

But you DO have to determine if S if your lover, or just your annoying roommate. Because it's getting damn hard to tell.

Sorry for being an annoying nonnie. I'll not say anything about it again.

[jumperfucker]

Yes, I know he is. And I'm not getting into whether or not he's justified. But what I meant is that I'm not going to cut either one of them out of my life for the sake of the other. Nor am I going to let either one dictate who I spend my time with or how I choose to divide that time.

I like to remain friends with my exes. I still have casual (read: friendly, non-sexual) relationships with quite a few of them. S knows this, and has been largely OK, except for with one person, for reasons that I am not getting into right now.

[(Anonymous)]

Nor am I going to let either one dictate who I spend my time with or how I choose to divide that time.

Well...no, and I get that. But you might want to make sure you're paying attention to where you decide to emphasize your time and attention, because perception equals reality in many cases. You may want to have friendly relationships with your exes, but for your current relationship it may hard to get past the idea that you used to have sexual desire for said ex, and not past the sneaking suspicion you might still. Or that the ex might for you.

I guess all I'm saying is don't fall on the sword of "I refuse to cut one of them out of my life for the sake of the other!" because you're getting all caught up in the principle of the thing. Eventually you might have to choose, and you might end up losing both. Just be careful. And good luck.

[jumperfucker]

Well, thanks, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

No, thank you for at least being patient with a nibby as hell anon sticking their nose in your relationships. I hope you know it's all well meant, and not at all malicious. I just...well, BTDT, is all.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

You might want to consider not having them in the same place together with alcohol. Other people drinking much seems to put Sherlock off a bit.